Twas the Night Before Christmas Forman Style
by Marla's Lost
Summary: Holiday poem dedication to a Red and Kitty Forman fan - it's a surprise and everyone's in it! ...
1. Chapter 1

**Author ****Note: ...**_.I __don__'t __know __if __anyone __has __done __a __Christmas __poem __before __but __this __dedication __goes __out __to __the __best __R/K __fan __I __know__…__.here __you __go __Nannygirl!_

**Twas the Night before Christmas – Forman Style**

Twas the night before Christmas, in Red Forman's house

Not a dumbass was snoring, not even Bob, soused

The stockings were hung in the basement with care

In hopes that some stoner had "something" to share

Eric and Laurie were snug in their beds

while visions of Luke Skywalker danced in one's head

Kitty in her pink rollers and Red's pillow warm

they had just settled down for a light winter's storm

When out on the driveway there arose such a clatter

Red sprang from his bed to see what was the matter

Away to the kitchen he flew like a flash

opening the patio doors, out the door he did dash

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.

When, what to Red's wondering eyes should appear,

But a hippie, an orphan and the Loud One so near

With a sigh and a "crap" and a "foot up your ass"

They marched to the kitchen and stood by the glass

Red scratched his head, these freeloaders they came

He pointed and grumbled and called them by name

Wait Leo? Now Jackie? Now Steven - why aren't you in bed?"

Then into the kitchen came Eric and Laurie with Kettlehead

To the top of the basement! To the top of the stairs

they were dashed away, sent away! With nary a care

and then in a twinkling Red heard from the door

The sounds of kids grumbling and pacing the floor

As he closed off the basement and was turning around

Where Kitty's foam rollers were making a sound

"Red Forman you stop acting just like old Scrooge

And hiding the kids away from the food"

Kitty pulled out some cookies and brownies and more

and then there was a clamoring that came from the floor

Steven's eyes - how they twinkled, Leo's dimples how merry

Jackie's cheeks were like roses, Laurie's nose like a cherry

Eric's droll little mouth was drawn up in a smirk

That Kelso was wearing the stupid helmet - that jerk

Blankets and pillows and cots were laid out for rest

Kitty had a bed for each Christmas guest

With a wink of her eye and a twist of her finger

She beckoned her husband not long should he linger

His foot was still shaking, these dumbasses destroyed

His Christmas Eve slumber - his winter nap joy

Yet a kiss from his daughter and a hug from his son

Red Forman said "goodnight" and knew he was done

So he sprang to the stairs where Kitty had gone

then the orphan and loud one started to bond

Eric and Laurie; disgusted they scoffed

yet Kelso was still trying to get the stupid helmet off

Leo was sleeping somewhere like a mouse

and the tired kids felt the warmth of the house

and they all settled down to a brownie induced nap

where safe would they be from Red's "dumbass" and "crap"

Kitty rolled on her side and smiled at Red

"You did a good thing my dear, giving them beds"

"Well in the morning they better be out of my sight!"

"Happy Christmas Red Forman so kiss me good-night!"

**A/N:** _Okay, so I wrote it on the fly but I was inspired but all the music on the radio – blame the commercialism of Christmas if you must…but don't hate the author!_


	2. Epilogue

**Twas the Night After Christmas – Epilogue:**

* * *

><p>Twas the night <em><span>after<span>_ Christmas, and all through the house

There was snoring and groaning and Kitty was soused

Red loved his gifts, not an ass he did kick

Kelso spiked the punch and ended up sick

Presents were opened and boxes stood torn

More happy Christmas memories were suddenly born

Mistletoe kisses were shared by true lovers

As Jackie and Steven hid under the covers

Fez drunk on chocolate and doing all favors

Totally forgot about Eric's light saber

Donna and Bob staggered home dreadfully late

And Bob popped a button since too much he ate

Leo was curled up on a rub next to the fire

His belly was full and he was happily tired

Once more Santa came back on the Forman's to spy

If this house could stay happy another year Rudolph could fly

Oh Kitty, oh Red and those wonderful cookies,

Oh Jackie and Steven please no more nookie,

And Kelso oh Fez hold back on the excesses

or your brain and your stomach will be bigger than Texas

Eric and Donna please kiss and be lovers

or next year you'll both find coal under your covers!

Leo you rascal, Santa's favorite stoner

Stay with this family so you won't be a loner

The wrappings are gone and the cookies all ate

Santa wriggled his nose and did not hesitate

He tugged on his belt and adjusted his hat

The North Pole was calling….how about that!

**A/N**…_just a silly little ditty I was thinking about while waiting at Home Deport for my Christmas tree to get trimmed. You can flame it if you like_


	3. Twas The Night - Part Three

**Author Note: … **_Dedicated to Nannygirl in the 3__rd__ year of a new tradition I guess!_

**The Year After**

Twas the year after Christmas, and all through the house

There was a mysterious stain on Kitty's new blouse

Red loved his television with its new remote control

While Bob feasted on leftovers in his Tupperware bowl

Eric and Donna were tangled together

Wrapped up in the arms of Kitty's knitted sweater

Little Jackson Hyde was asleep with toy phone

while his crazy Aunt Laurie wanted a babe of her own

Jackie and Steven only had eyes for each other

While a pregnant tummy was hiding a brother

Kelso and Fez were watching their friends

and wishing this season never would end.

This was the year that Rudolph would fly!

Santa came back on the Forman's to spy

Oh Kitty, oh Red and your wonderful crew

Oh Jackie and Steven bringing in the new

Oh Eric and Donna made up with mad kisses

and perhaps they'd be granted that *bundle* of wishes

And Kelso oh Fez you've been good this last year

you'll only have success and nothing to fear

Santa looked through the window and smiled so bright

The Forman's were happy this Christmas Eve night

Santa wriggled his nose and but felt a bit blue

His journey was over until Jackson was two

and perhaps a baby Forman would be coming up soon?

Rudolph jingled his bells and Santa hefted his sack

Good Bye Point Place - I soon will be back!


End file.
